Male Headship (sort of) Part 3
The last few weeks I have been focusing on the issue of male headship, and as promised I want to address the question (based on Ephesians 5) is it easier for wives to be subject to their husbands, or for husbands to love their wives? I will attempt an answer here, but I want to do so in a very roundabout way.
This past Sunday at Liberty we were studying the amazing prophecy of Jahaziel (read 2 Chronicles 20, I promise you it will be worth your time). In this chapter, the Holy Spirit falls upon Jahaziel and through him tells God’s people that they are to go out and meet their advancing enemies – but to not fight against them! “The battle is not yours but God’s,” Jahaziel says. Remarkably the people of God obey, trusting that God will show up just as he has promised to do. Now before we get too ahead of ourselves, I want us to pause and consider that statement. The people assume/believe/hope that God will do what he has said he will do. Sounds easy enough, but try it sometime. Are we willing to trust God like that? Are we willing to put ourselves into positions in which if God does not come through as promised we will be truly and thoroughly sunk?
The people of God go out to meet their enemies on the battlefield, and trusting in God, they send worshippers at the front, warriors at the rear. In other words, if I may be blunt, if God does not show up, the worshippers will be slaughtered, plain and simple. This is faith! And yet I think that all too often, we like to hedge our bets. Sure God, I trust that you can fight the battle for me, but just in case you don’t, I’m going to put my best warriors at the front and prepare them for the fight of their lives. I think it’s “easy” to trust God for the things that might happen anyway but much harder when there is only one out: God has to show up.
In many ways this reminds me of Jesus’ interaction with some scribes at the beginning of Mark 2. Do you remember the question Jesus asks them? I won’t take time here to spell out the context, you can look it up. “Which is easier?” It’s a tricky question! Because at the truest level it’s a lot easier to say “stand up, take your mat, and walk.” After all, as the scribes rightly point out, only God can say “your sins are forgiven.” But I don’t think that’s what was on the scribes’ mind at this particular moment. I think for them, the easier was, “your sins are forgiven.” After all, who will know if they are or not? Much more difficult to say “Stand up, take your mat, and walk.” At this point either a miracle will take place or things will get uncomfortably awkward mighty quick! Mat taking and walking is only going to happen if God shows up! And that is exactly the point. Jesus speaks the “harder” statement and the overflowing house holds their collective breaths waiting to see if maybe just maybe God is in their midst!
So what does all this have to do with husbands and wives? Just this. I think once again we have gotten our “easier” and our “harder” backwards. Wives are called to be subject to their husbands (something husbands are also called to be towards their wives let’s not forget – Ephesians 5:21) and we say, this is too hard! Poor women that they must be subservient followers to their domineering masters. And that would be true if the metaphor Paul was using was of slaves and masters, but it’s not. Paul is speaking here of Christ and the church. He is speaking of an intimate, loving, joyful relationship of mercy and grace. Suddenly submission (mutual submission let’s not forget) doesn’t seem so hard. But then Paul tells husbands to love their wives – just as Christ loved the church AND (this is where it hurts) gave himself up for her. Sacrifice. Service. Self-denial. Paul is not calling husbands to be leaders out on the frontlines making all the decisions, he is calling them to give up their own wants, desires, agendas, etc, to serve. Think of what Paul writes in Philippians 2: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.” Brothers and sisters we were lost in this world without a hope to cling to unless God showed up. He did, in the person and work of Jesus Christ who gave himself for us. And Paul says that husbands should love like this. In an only-God-can-do-it, self-sacrificing, serving way. Sounds, good. Sign me up. But it sure doesn’t sound easy!